My family

Family has always been really important to me. I'm lucky that I've got a family where there have never been any major fall outs. Not that I know of anyway. I've never fallen out with any of them...something that's all too common I know. Any problems I have are my own and not their fault. I doubt they'd even realise . 

My Mum and Dad have got to be the most " normal" couple. They've been married for fifty odd years and they still love each other. I'm 100% sure they are still together because they want to be and not out of circumstance or habit. I can't think of anything bad about my parents. Maybe they let us get away with a bit too much when we were younger, I don't know. I'm sure my mum knew some of the things I got up to as a teenager but chose to ignore it.

I have two sisters, both married. My brother in laws are great.I am the middle sister. I've always felt like the odd one out though.I don't know why. When I was a kid it seemed that my younger sister got away with more because she was the baby and my older sister got away with more because she was more grown up. I hated being in the middle. The worst thing was that I always had to sit on the bumpy bit in the middle of the back seat of the car :-). Apart from the odd teenage fight we've always been close. I think times when we've drifted apart a bit have been because I haven't wanted to do things. When I was married we used to do more as couples. Even though they don't mind I feel like a spare part now......my problem. I've refused invites so many times I think they just don't bother asking me anymore. 

I don't have a favourite sister. I'm sure over the years we've had phases of who I've been closest to but I can honestly say I love them equally. I suppose I'm more  likely to get the hump with my big sister...... that's because she's the oldest and she's always right !! I love it when we have girls days out. Just the three of us.

I've got two nieces and two nephews. I don't see as much of them as I did when they were kids but love them all. They've all grown up into lovely people. That's when I get really upset about my son, thinking about what he could be doing with his life. I'm sure they all love me but I'm also sure they just think I'm nuts. Mad Aunty Lynn! 

There are aunties and uncles and cousins too. There's not one of them I don't really like or would have a problem with. 

As much as I love my family, I hate big get togethers, especially Christmas. I feel self conscious and I know I get loud and act stupid. I don't know why. It's how I cope. I try to make a joke of everything. I always act the fool and make everyone laugh. Always the life and soul.  What I really want to do is tell everyone to fuck off and then go home. I hate being like that, it's just that when everyone is there I feel under pressure to be ok. 

When it's just me and my sisters or me and my mum and dad it's usually ok. 

I am extremely lucky to have my family. I would find it difficult to cope if I didn't have their support. A psychiatrist wrote in a report about me that my family life was "unremarkable". I think my family is pretty remarkable!