Diagnosis

I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2010....4years after I first asked for help. 

In hindsight , I can see  that I've always had it but nothing extreme enough to be a problem.

Lol, I've had the nickname Scatty since school . It amuses me the number of people who have no idea that it's my nickname, call me scatty. Hahahaha it must be true. 

I've always been an " up and down" person. My moods never caused anything bad enough to warrant me seeking medical help. Whenever I was high people thought I was just fun loving and full of life. When I was low I usually managed to keep it to myself and work my way through it.

Sometimes everything seems to come at once and I hit a bad patch , which sent me out of control. 

We had moved into a house that needed gutting. My ex had changed jobs and was working in Ely, which meant he was hardly ever there. His mum was ill and I had to look after her. My job as a tutor was getting more and more time consuming. My son was doing drugs and my ex had chucked him out. I'd put on weight, so felt like shit and my periods were up the shoot !  I guess all that combined made me depressed

The first time I went to the doctors he gave me Prozac. That was the start of it. I've since learned that giving someone with bipolar an antidepressant on its own can kick start a manic episode..... and that's exactly what happened. Well, hypomania ( not quite so bad ) . I felt amazing . I was running around like a headless chicken. I thought everything was hilarious. I didn't sleep for a week and I wasn't tired. I drove like a lunatic . I remember driving at 90mph into Great Bentley and getting my car airborne ...no way would I try and do that now. 

I didn't think anything was really wrong. My ex insisted on taking me back to the doctors. I thought it was so funny sat in the doctors, I  laughed so much I ended up crying. I suppose it must have been really embarrassing for my husband. 

So then the real trouble started. I don't remember too much. I was miserable then happy, full of energy then exhausted. I didn't sleep for days then slept for days on end. I seemed to go from one extreme to the other....up and down like a yoyo. I really couldn't seem to help it. It was at least a year before I got to see a psychiatrist. She diagnosed,  Bipolar3 ..... Bipolar brought on by medication, then I was diagnosed as being in a " mixed state" lol well I was definitely in  a bloody state. Then came months and months of one medication then another. One lot of shitty side effects after another and only brief spells of feeling normal. I feel like I lost months and months of my life. I only managed work for brief periods.

Sometimes I really didn't give a fuck and sometimes I felt so scared .

My husband came to all my appointments to start but that gradually dwindled. He was at home less and less and we pretty much never saw each other.

When I was finally given a proper diagnosis and assigned a care-coordinator ( a mental health nurse) it was such a relief. I was glad I had bipolar......at least I had a reason for how I'd been. Sadly it was too late for my marriage. 

It was only when I was in hospital that they managed to sort out medication that suits me. I don't think I could survive without  my meds . 

The treatment I get now is fantastic.

Statistics show that it can take up to 13 years to get a proper diagnosis . I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.