I'm trying to do all the things I've been taught, like keep to a routine, do some exercise, talk to friends. I'm lucky that I know these things help but I still can't help feeling sorry for myself. I hate myself for that. I don't want to be that type of person. I want to be happy.
I feel guilty because I've got a whole lot of things that some people will never have, like a wonderful family, great friends, a home, a job, yet I still feel miserable most of the time. Maybe I'm just plain selfish.
I'm sure people get fed up with me. I don't blame them...I would. I'm getting fed up with myself. I feel guilty because I shouldn't feel the way I do.
I've sort of got used to the feeling down side of things and even though its not nice I know it will eventually pass. It's the feeling overly anxious and imagining horrible things that I'm finding really hard to deal with. I've never really had it before and it's frightening me. The most horrific thoughts seem to pop into my head and even though I know they're ridiculous, they seem so real at the time. I'm not really sure what to do at the moment. I just have to get on with it I suppose. I wish there really was a magic pill to make you feel normal.