Maybe the thought of being homeless again will scare him into doing something. Maybe I should have let him become homeless. I can only do what I think is right at the time . When you've got your only child begging for your help its impossible to ignore. Maybe if I'd have been tougher from the start he wouldn't rely on me so much. The trouble is he knows that whatever mess he gets into I'm going to bail him out. If I could go back in time I would try to be tougher.
I've decided to give him an ultimatum this time. I've told him he's got a month to sort the flat out and start getting proper help or I will walk away and disown him like his Dad has already done. He says he's going to do something this time and I said I mean it this time. I don't know if I can see it through but I can't let him keep relying on me. I don't think he believes I mean it either. In the next month I'll try and do everything I can to help. I'll help clean the flat. I'll help him sort his finances and I'll go to any appointments if he wants. Once the month is up I'm going to walk away. It will be up to him then.
When he was little I used to look at him and almost burst with pride at how amazing he was. I want to be able to do that again one day but most of all I want him to have pride in himself.