Sunday, 19 January 2014

Jeremy Kyle....really?

Why on earth would anyone with an ounce of self respect or brains want to ring the Jeremy Kyle Show? I hate the Jeremy Kyle show. I only ever watch it if it happens to be on and there's nothing else to watch. It's just full of low life scum bags wanting to get on the telly or people so naive or desperate that they don't realise that they are being exploited and made to look ridiculous in front of millions of people. It's actually quite sad. It's a freak show. I don't know anyone who takes it seriously. I actually feel embarrassed to admit I've watched it. So how come I ended up going on the website to try and find out if I could get on the show. Every now and then they have a story about how they pay for an addict to go to rehab and then give them all the support needed to help them " rebuild their life". When you have no idea what to do about a situation all sorts of stupid things cross your mind. Sometimes you feel so desperate you'd consider anything. My son is a heroin addict and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. A million pounds wouldn't change that fact, so going on a stupid TV show wouldn't make any difference. Now I feel such an idiot for even contemplating it. The only way he'll stop being a heroin addict is if he chooses to. 
Not a word for weeks, absolutely nothing apart from a picture of him in the local paper saying he's wanted by the police. The only way to get through it was to keep telling myself that no news is good news. So to get a phonecall out of the blue was a huge relief. He didn't say much. He said he was ok and that he'd found some
money and bought a phone. I don't believe that for a minute. People don't just find money. He said he was staying with a friend. When I asked what he was doing he told me not to "start". I could tell by the tone of his voice there wasn't much point in trying to have a proper conversation. I told him I'd ring him in a few days. Instead of being happy I felt really cross. Not once did he say sorry about disappearing over Christmas, not once did he ask how I was, not once did he ask about my mum and dad or anyone else. Selfish little bastard.
I've spoken to him once since. He is staying with another addict. He says he's still using when he can afford it and that he's been selling scrap metal to get money. He says he knows he has to do something but doesn't know what yet. He doesn't want to see or talk to anyone else. I asked if there was anything I could do.....he said no. He's right. I'd do anything if I thought it would make a difference. I still love him but I don't really like him right now. 
It's his Birthday tomorrow. He's going to be 28. He should be enjoying his life right now. Drugs have taken his life away. I don't want to think about how he will be spending his day. 


  1. I'm so sorry for your struggles with your son. I hope that he bounces off the bottom, and back up into a healthier life.

  2. Hi there Lynn! My name is Cameron and I was reading up on your blog just now. I had a quick question and was hoping that you could email me back when you have a moment. I really appreciate it, thanks!